Ten bizarre inventions from the past that never caught on

People once caged babies several stories above the street

Ever wonder what happened to all those "revolutionary" gadgets that promised to change our lives? Some ideas were just too weird, too early, or too wonderfully impractical to survive. Let's take a nostalgic trip through the patent office's hall of shame.

Back when fresh air was considered a cure-all, London parents who lived in apartments faced a dilemma: how to give their babies outdoor time without a yard? The solution was a wire cage that hung outside the window, suspending Junior several stories above the street. Parents would just pop the baby in the cage and go about their day.

Shockingly, this didn't catch on. Perhaps it was the image of infants dangling precariously over busy sidewalks.

Imagine a giant goldfish bowl on your head, lined with cork, with only a thin slit to see through. That was the Isolator, designed to help people concentrate by blocking out all distractions. The inventor, Hugo Gernsback, thought sensory deprivation was the key to productivity. An attached oxygen tank let you breathe while you worked.

The problem? Looking like a deep-sea diver at your desk isn't exactly conducive to office camaraderie. Plus, trying to type while essentially wearing a fish tank proved impractical.

This battery-powered cone featured a small motor that rotated the ice cream for you, so you could just stick out your tongue and let technology do the rest. It was supposed to prevent drips and ensure even licking coverage.

The invention raised an important question: had we become so lazy that rotating our wrist was now an insurmountable challenge? Apparently, the answer was no. The motorized cone disappeared faster than ice cream on a summer day.

This amphibious bicycle promised to let you pedal across lakes and rivers just as easily as riding down Main Street. It featured a boat-like hull and paddle wheels instead of regular tires. The inventor envisioned commuters cycling across waterways, avoiding bridge traffic entirely.

Unfortunately, the Cyclomer was heavy, slow on both land and water, and required the leg strength of an Olympic athlete to move at anything faster than a crawl.

Dr. John Brinkley convinced thousands of men that transplanting goat testicles into humans would restore youth and vigor. For the bargain price of $750 (about $12,000 today), you could have surgery in his Kansas clinic and supposedly regain the vitality of your younger days.

Unsurprisingly, the procedure didn't work—goat glands don't function in human bodies. Brinkley eventually lost his medical license, but not before making millions.

When cars first became common, someone invented a net-like contraption that attached to the front bumper to scoop up pedestrians before running them over. The idea was that the person would land safely in the net instead of under the wheels. It looked like an industrial-sized butterfly net.

The fatal flaw? Getting hit by a car and caught in a net is still getting hit by a car. Plus, the contraption made vehicles longer and harder to maneuver, probably causing more accidents than it prevented.

Picture this: you're stuck in bed recovering from illness, and what you really need is a full-size piano suspended over your body. That's what one inventor thought, anyway. The piano hung horizontally above the patient, who could supposedly play while lying flat on their back.

Beyond the obvious safety concerns of dangling a heavy musical instrument over sick people, there was the question of who actually wants to play piano while confined to bed.

In an era when dimples were considered irresistibly charming, someone invented a face-shaping device that promised to create them artificially. The contraption used springs and knobs to press into your cheeks for 15 minutes daily until dimples supposedly formed permanently.

It didn't work, of course—dimples are genetic, caused by variations in facial muscle structure. But that didn't stop people from trying.

L. Ron Hubbard claimed this modified lie detector could measure the electrical characteristics of your thoughts and help achieve spiritual enlightenment. Users held two tin cans connected to a meter while being asked questions. A needle supposedly revealed deep psychological truths.

Scientifically, it was just a simple ohmmeter measuring skin resistance—the same principle behind mood rings. But it cost considerably more and came with significantly more baggage.

Why carry a portable radio when you could wear one on your head? This invention looked like a regular pint-sized baseball cap but contained a tiny AM radio with an antenna poking out the top. Earphones ran down to your ears, letting you listen to broadcasts while keeping your hands free.

The problem was that you looked absolutely ridiculous, like an alien trying to blend in at a baseball game. The reception was terrible, the batteries died quickly, and the whole contraption was uncomfortable.

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Things you never knew about lefties (but will enjoy reading)

Image: Naufan Rusyda Faikar

Lefties make up only a small slice of the population, but they sure know how to keep things interesting. From wrestling with scissors to secretly beating everyone at video games, southpaws live in a world built for right-handers and still come out on top. Whether you are left-handed yourself or just curious about what makes them stand out, these facts will give you a fresh look at the lefty life.

Image: Kelly Sikkema

Only about 15 out of every 100 people are left-handed, making them a somewhat rare bunch. Men are more likely to be left-handed than women, and family history also plays a role. If you want to find out how, keep reading!

Image: Anna Savina

Around one in five MENSA members, the society for people with sky-high IQs, is left-handed. Some scientists believe this may be due to the way left-handed brains connect information across the two hemispheres more easily. So if a lefty says they "think differently," they might be telling the plain truth.

Image: Kenny Eliason

This one may raise some eyebrows: Studies have found that left-handed men with a college education actually make more money than their right-handed buddies, sometimes 15% more, and up to 26% more for those who complete a degree. No one has nailed down the reason, but it could be their knack for solving problems in unconventional ways.

Image: Blessing Ri

Mark your calendar: August 13 is International Left-Handers’ Day. It is a fun little holiday created back in the 1970s to celebrate life on the "other side." Some people spend the day using their non-dominant hand for everyday tasks, just to experience what lefties deal with all the time.

Image: Malin K.

Left-handedness can run in families. If both parents are lefties, there’s a 50% chance their kids will be too. Two right-handed parents, on the other hand, only have about a 2% shot at raising a lefty.

Image: Dietmar Ludmann

Here’s a fact to share with your cat-loving friends: male cats tend to be "left-pawed," while females usually favor their right paw. So if your tomcat keeps swatting toys with his left paw, he is in good company. Turns out, even pets deal with a version of handedness.

Image: Quenani Leal

Let’s be honest: the world isn’t built with lefties in mind. Scissors, can openers, and even desks in school are usually designed for right-handed people. Half of lefties give up and use a mouse with their right hand, and most use the "wrong" hand for scissors and knives. Lefties learn to adapt quickly, but it’s not always easy.

Image: Igor Karimov 🇺🇦

Here is where lefties really shine. Studies suggest they are better at processing lots of information at once, which comes in handy for activities like video games. Quick reactions, split-second decisions, multitasking… Lefties seem to have a knack for it all.

Image: Charles Postiaux

Lefties may be in the minority, but that hasn’t stopped them from shaping history. Consider this: Out of the last five U.S. presidents, three were southpaws—Obama, Clinton, and George H.W. Bush. Clearly, we can say left-handers have left their mark in big ways.

Image: Alexander Mass

Interestingly, the older a mother is when giving birth, the more likely her child is to be left-handed. No one knows exactly why, but it adds another twist to the mix of biology and chance that determines whether a baby grabs a crayon with the left or right hand.